After hiking on
the dry side of Molokai the
California hills no longer seem quite so bleak or harsh. I haven’t been out in nature
for a few weeks. I’ve been inside a house with my parents who both suffer with
dementia and I headed to the hills with a soul full of woes. I walked for miles over hills of dry, rustling grass and solid, solitary oaks.
The first steep incline burned because a few slack weeks are enough to turn lazy
muscles into adolescent whiners, but eventually I caught my breath and began to
feel frustration falling away. A deer bounced along the trail and
a pack of wild turkeys scurried into the bushes.
There is nothing funny about dementia
and it is surprisingly irritating to be around. The rambling stories devoid of
truth, random fits of rage and the thousand yard glare in answer to simple
questions serve to fry nerves. I’m only speaking for myself, from a very
selfish point of view. I know it is another kind of hell to be in their shoes
so I make every effort to practice kindness.
The difference between islands in
the Pacific and just about everywhere else is snakes, so I remembered to keep
my eyes on the trail ahead and not skip blindly through tall grass. The
scents along the trail in California differ from the tropics like the gulf
between savory and sweet, rosemary and bananas, the landscape smells more like
dinner than desert. And the flowers are
more demure, less inclined to blow up like party balloons. I volunteered to be
here for my parents so I’ll make an effort to find places where few people go for a
view that gives freeways and shopping centers fresh perspective. Vultures
circling close overhead remind me to live life to the fullest, before all that remains
is a house full of lost memories.
Thanks for sharing. I can relate, as my mom has alzheimers. You are a wonderful daughter to be there for them at this time.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your kind words. They really aren't the same people anymore and I'm having trouble shifting my expectations. It's an adjustment for everyone, thank heaven for all the parks and trails in this area! Hang in there.
ReplyDelete