tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7958146203224724048.post2813795029583277026..comments2024-03-12T06:29:05.984-07:00Comments on Latitude Options: Not Quite Out of My Mindcatherinebuchanan.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14059308603869415392noreply@blogger.comBlogger15125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7958146203224724048.post-59330001814212819932012-06-26T17:05:11.753-07:002012-06-26T17:05:11.753-07:00Barbara, Thank you so much for writing. I'm am...Barbara, Thank you so much for writing. I'm amazed that the supposedly best system the world does not actually function very well. That might be the dumbest thing I've said. Like why be amazed? You've certainly been through it and I'm glad to hear you have no regrets. So far I don't. I was a horrible teenager, so maybe it is payback and thanks for making me smile! Look forward to the day we can get together again. I've tried to write about getting off the airplane in LA from Mexico with all the baggage piling up out of control. It was weird and hilarious, but defies description. At least you were there to witness it so I'm not crazy. Here's to staying sane!catherinebuchanan.comhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14059308603869415392noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7958146203224724048.post-82916152787338729042012-06-26T14:52:32.298-07:002012-06-26T14:52:32.298-07:00Catherine although everything you are going throug...Catherine although everything you are going through is absolutely overwhelming, you continue to write beautifully about a very painful topic. This says a lot about who you are as a human being. I remember those days, my father being organically brain damaged, going to neighbors to call the police on his care giver for stealing his car (not true), being hospitalized and the nurses asking me what language he spoke(he had receptive and expressive aphasia), TRYING TO GET PSYCHOLOGICAL HELP AND BEING TOLD BY A MEDICAL COURT "Organically brain damaged people can not benefit from psychotherapy" At the same time being told that my uncle (in congestive heart failure)and his wife(my aunt)who was blind could not be released from the hospital to their home and needed to be placed in a facility but they had no savings . I would not separate them nor place them inappropriately!!! And I didn't. But pleading became an art. So, even though I am not in your shoes, I have an idea of the magnitude of your difficulties. I can tell you ...I got so tired of washing urine soaked clothing I cried......I fell to sleep so exhausted, I never wanted to wake up......but I have no regrets. Even with all the sacrifices I had to make, I would do it again in a heart beat. I was not the best kid and they loved me in spite of myself. I was fortunate enough to be able to love them the same way.<br />I admire you for taking care of the people who took care of you. You are a wonderful DAUGHTER!!!Barbara Jacksonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18445007135889678549noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7958146203224724048.post-78851450095049914822012-06-23T10:37:57.023-07:002012-06-23T10:37:57.023-07:00If you are in Benicia I'll have my sister'...If you are in Benicia I'll have my sister's gallery open today from 11:30 to 4:30 (117 East D Street) and my paintings are up this month also from the 90 paintings in 90 days series I did on Molokai last fall. Feel free to stop by if you are around, clearly you are a fellow survivor!catherinebuchanan.comhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14059308603869415392noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7958146203224724048.post-9169832383744072762012-06-23T10:29:26.267-07:002012-06-23T10:29:26.267-07:00My apologies for resending the same comment. I wan...My apologies for resending the same comment. I wanted to correct a spelling error. Jeez, this blog is as easy to get around as insurance forms through the hospital.catherinebuchanan.comhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14059308603869415392noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7958146203224724048.post-83886363147060875982012-06-23T10:20:23.517-07:002012-06-23T10:20:23.517-07:00It is such a complicated relationship, having to g...It is such a complicated relationship, having to give time and energy to people who cannot give back. I could not do it if I did not love my parents, but it certainly gets tested daily. I feel for you. It would take a high hourly rate to do this for someone I did not love. A Dr. can do a simple memory test to determine dementia and a letter from them might be convincing. You are definitely not bad for not wanting to give your time to someone who did not care for you, but a Saint for doing it anyway. Just to say though, I don't want to be here most of the time and Saints are probably overrated. Hope you find a solution. Coping with elderly family members over a long slow decline is nearly an untenable problem and there are no easy answers. Be a baddy if it means your sanity. What other people think doesn't count for much in the long run and resentment is just too hard to get over. I do pray, often. Thanks for yours and bless you too!catherinebuchanan.comhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14059308603869415392noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7958146203224724048.post-13682123933202302772012-06-23T10:17:38.837-07:002012-06-23T10:17:38.837-07:00This comment has been removed by the author.catherinebuchanan.comhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14059308603869415392noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7958146203224724048.post-20472660963520633952012-06-23T10:15:42.416-07:002012-06-23T10:15:42.416-07:00Hello Catherine, i am a friend of your sister'...Hello Catherine, i am a friend of your sister's. I am so glad she directed me to your page. My mother was also an Alzheimer's victim, no, the whole family were victims of this horrible disease. Not only does Alzheimer's erase a patient's memory but also strips them of all dignity. You are a very loving, patient, and wonderful daughter. I was captivated by you voice and read more of your blog which I loved. You are a very talented writer and photographer. I will be a frequent visitor.Eileenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06120010820008393250noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7958146203224724048.post-51294253839020012252012-06-23T08:33:30.459-07:002012-06-23T08:33:30.459-07:00I understand what you're going through. My hus...I understand what you're going through. My husband and I are taking care if his Mother. Both my parents are gone. You literally hit the nail on the head. Only I think somedays my husband does not deal in reality, and is in denial my Mother-in-Law has dementia. God Bless you.Caroline Meierhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12327108213422791977noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7958146203224724048.post-18216047659800220742012-06-23T08:28:12.232-07:002012-06-23T08:28:12.232-07:00Boy did you ever hit the nail n the head! You don&...Boy did you ever hit the nail n the head! You don't live in Northern California do you? The worse thing is my Parents are gone and I'm left helping to take care of my Mother-in-Law who never really gave me the time of day in the past. Now I'm forced to be part-time caretaker for my Husbands' Mother. Forced as I'm a baddy if I don't. I understand and empathize, but my husband is in denial she has Dementia. God Bless and keep you and your parents.Caroline Meierhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12327108213422791977noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7958146203224724048.post-73620706860783501812012-06-23T02:36:12.089-07:002012-06-23T02:36:12.089-07:00AFGO...I'll have to remember that! :)AFGO...I'll have to remember that! :)thirtysevenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12316638104710409674noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7958146203224724048.post-82463859964562247982012-06-22T21:07:26.697-07:002012-06-22T21:07:26.697-07:00I always enjoy to way you see the world through ka...I always enjoy to way you see the world through kaleidoscope glasses. This might be your most poignant story so far. Not many folks can pull off humor and horror in the same sentence. Love you sis.merniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02865920850066349057noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7958146203224724048.post-73452565188694374432012-06-22T12:03:52.102-07:002012-06-22T12:03:52.102-07:00Thanks for your insights, really appreciate it. I ...Thanks for your insights, really appreciate it. I think the expectations are the hardest to reconcile. It is more difficult to witness my Dad's downhill mental slide than it has been with Mom. I didn't realize I still expected anything of him, but surprises are part of learning. I just heard the experience referred to as AFGO. <br />another fucking growth opportunity).<br />Hope your day is a good one!catherinebuchanan.comhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14059308603869415392noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7958146203224724048.post-85124314111694461652012-06-22T01:02:14.006-07:002012-06-22T01:02:14.006-07:00Yes, beautifully written and very touching. I wor...Yes, beautifully written and very touching. I worked in a nursing home for awhile when I was in grad school. I loved all the men and women there. It was horrible for the families when they would come visit, to see their loved ones in such a different state. I did not know their former selves, so I just accepted them as they were. It is so much easier to handle when it is not your family... no history, memories, expectations...thirtysevenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12316638104710409674noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7958146203224724048.post-81376077940479996822012-06-21T22:18:00.927-07:002012-06-21T22:18:00.927-07:00thanks Heidi, hugs to Addie, wish I could have a d...thanks Heidi, hugs to Addie, wish I could have a dog here!catherinebuchanan.comhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14059308603869415392noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7958146203224724048.post-35305282589838568412012-06-21T21:52:51.398-07:002012-06-21T21:52:51.398-07:00Honest, moving, and of course, beautifully written...Honest, moving, and of course, beautifully written....Heidihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17611893153280071237noreply@blogger.com